It’s not awkward it’s just silence.

I just work here. I don’t come here to hang out. We don’t have to be friends. Really, it’s okay. I’m just at the water cooler to refill my water bottle.

Please don’t sing happy birthday.

Please don’t throw me a shower, of any kind.  

I don’t really care about your weekend. You don’t really care about mine.

It is totally okay for two people to be in the same space and not fill it with mindless chatter.

I don’t mean to be a jerk but it’s just better this way.