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Hey, Asshat, I already know I’m in a bad mood. That is why I’m glaring at you. That is why my upper lip is curling as you look in my direction. That is why I bare my teeth to your morning salutation. I had hoped by donning my “I hate you and wish you were dead” look, we could skip this part. No? Okay fine. But if after you say “Gee, you in a bad mood today?” and my fist finds it’s way to your face, I should not be held responsible.

Seriously. When have you ever commented on someone’s bad mood and been met with a positive result? What exactly are you hoping to accomplish by making me aware of your keen observation skills? It can only go one way and I assure you it’s not gonna go your way.

If I’m nice enough to come prepared then you should be nice enough to leave me the hell alone. And, if I go a step further and say “Hey, I’m in a rotten mood today” your witty reply of “Ah, so the usual?”…uh, while cute, will earn you a punch squarely in the throat and I don’t care how long I’ve known you, Joey Kibler!

Feels Like Home


I have been using music to weather melancholia, enhance joy, inspire action, and find peace since my daddy taught me to sing the day he brought me home. I listened to these stories and identified with the ones that spoke to me. I know I’ve never been alone – there has always been someone who went before and stood where I stood, faced what I faced, and lived to sing about it. In the face of every heartbreak Aaron Neville and Bonnie Raitt have been there to pull me up and remind there’s something better, while Carrie Underwood reminds me there is nothing a baseball bat won’t make all better. But I digress…

Lately, I find myself thinking of the times when I very nearly thought I’d come home (or time, rather) and the devastation of being wrong. Whatever else I may be I have always been romantically optimistic, but as I spent time with a friend this weekend I found myself thinking how nice it was to be with someone, how easy it was to be thoughtful, how good it felt to cook for him and talk with him but if it ever became more than a few days here or there with no strings…oh, how disastrous it would become. I’m not sure if it is sadder because it is true or because love is the only thing I ever thought was important and now…this…

But it reminded me of a song I heard a few years ago, by Randy Newman. A sappy love song about finding home in the arms of love. Some days I get sad about what I don’t have and I forget to enjoy the journey I’m on. I hear these words and I am reminded that I know what I want and it will be beautiful when it comes but it’s not something to be looked for.

Feels Like Home

Something in your eyes
Makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself
In your arms.

There’s something in your voice
Makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts
The rest of my life.

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how low I’ve felt so long.
If you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you’ve done.

Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I’m on the way back
Where I come from.
Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I’m on the way back
Where I belong.

A window breaks
Down a long dark street
And a siren wails in the night.
But I’m all right
‘Cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see
Through the dark there’s light.

If you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I’ve waited for your touch.
If you knew how happy you are making me.
I never thought I’d love anyone so much.

Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I’m on the way back to where I come from.

Feels like home to me
Feels like home to me
Feels like I’m on the way back where I belong.
Feels like I’m on the way back where I belong.

The thought of sleeping fearlessly in the dark brings me a little hope. Just a little…Whoever he is, he will be lucky.  I have been waiting my whole life to love like that.