Carob Powder, False Advertising


There is a vicious rumor about carob powder circulating by Granolaheads and I’m here to stop it in its tracks.

The lie: Carob powder is a fantastic substitute for cocoa.

Nutritionally, cocoa and carob are pretty even.

Carob

Carob doesn’t contain caffeine or theobromine (the stimulant which makes cocoa dangerous for cats and dogs). Carob powder is *supposedly* naturally sweeter and lower in fat than cocoa, although, this nutritional one-up is eliminated once both are processed into powders for baking.

Cocoa

Cocoa is rich in saturated fat (stearic acid) that is known to not raise cholesterol levels while carob *chocolate* is often prepared with palm or coconut oils which are known to raise cholesterol. Additionally, cocoa contains flavonoids which can be helpful with hypertension, insulin sensitivity, platelet function, and immune response.

So as you can see it’s a real big “meh” on which is *better* for you. I just wanted to try it. I read that although it could be used as a substitute for chocolate, the user should know that the tastes of the two are different.

This is the understatement of the century.

I needed brownies. Like, Oh My Gawd I haven’t had bread in a week except for those frightfully dry apple cinna-fails from 2 days ago. I have a fantasticly yummy Weight Watchers recipe into which I substituted carob powder for cocoa powder.

I was a *tad* hasty in trying to get at 'em

So in the greatest miscommunication of all time when they say “carob powder is a fantastic substitute for chocolate” what they mean is “Carob powder will change the color of anything you want and make it appear as though it has chocolate in it but only use it in items you are serving to people who you do not like and then laugh and laugh and laugh as you watch them confusedly try to figure out why your (insert baked item of choice) tastes like the bottom of your shoe.”

For all of Weight Watcher’s fantasticness, they were the moistest damn shoe-flavored brownies that I’ve ever left cooling in my trash can.

I guess I could use what I have left in stuff I make for the girls since it is the non-dangerous *chocolate* item for them…but I already know that they like the taste of my shoes.

BIG FAT BROWNIE ASS FAIL. The best news to come out of this is that it turns out that Carob is just another legume to which I am allergic.

Homemade Oat Bread


When I knew I wanted to start making my breads myself because I’m just too lazy to pick up and put down a gazillion items after scouring the ingredient labels, I went online in search of flour.

The reasons why aren’t super important, mostly it’s a result of my continued laziness and lack of desire to have to go to multiple stores in an attempt to locate exactly what I want, and this week has taught me, that that is, in fact, something I would have had to do. So I found Bob’s Red Mill and saw they had what I was looking for and more (good, wholesome, natural, organic ingredients at the *click* of my finger).

My supplies came yesterday and using one of Bob’s recipes, I set to work making Oat Bread this morning. Here you go:

Ingredients

1 Tbsp Active Dry Yeast

1 1/2 tbsp Turbino (WeverTFthatis) Sugar

1 1/4 c. warm Water

1 1/2 tsp Salt

1 1/2 tsp Safflower Oil

2 Tbsp Oat Bran Cereal

1/4 c. Rolled Oats

1 c. Whole Wheat Flour

2 c. All-purpose White Flour

What to do with it all

In a large bowl mix the yeast, sugar, and warm water. let rest for a few minutes. Stir in the remaining ingredients in the order given. Turn dough out on a well-floured pastry cloth and knead until smooth and elastic, adding more flour as needed to prevent sticking. Place dough in a large oiled bowl and cover with a towel. Set bowl in a warm place and let dough rise until doubled in bulk (about 1 hr). Then punch dough down and turn onto lightly floured pastry cloth, shape into loaf. Place in an oiled bread pan, cover with towel and let rise again. Place oven rack in the cneter of the oven and place bread pan on center rack. Bake at 425°F for 25 minutes or until done.

Comments on the dish from the food critics in my life

I thought it would be bigger, honestly.

It could be that I made some changes and perhaps I should not screw something up before making changes but, seriously, WTF is Turbino Sugar? I also didn’t use All-Purpose white flour because…well, wheat is just not a nutritionally valuable grain. I’d rather use it sparingly if possible. I’m not allergic to gluten or wheat so eating shitty gluten-free bread isn’t necessary. Turns out some alternate flours still need to be bulked up with wheat so I used Hard Red Wheat and Oat flours for this bread. Also, it does say to “punch” down but I’ve got anger issues and I kind of punched the dough in the face a few times.

I haven’t eaten it yet, I’m still waiting for it to cool. But I’ll update this when I do. Smells good, though.

Update: YUMMY!