Him, Again


There it was.

2 little words and my heart stopped.

The world stopped.

 I couldn’t breathe.

My hands began to shake.

Him, again.

The one from the fairy tale.

The careless one.

What can he want?

What do I do?

What do I say?

He wants to assuage his guilt.

There is nothing to do.

There is little to say.

My heart is cold.

I am shattered glass,

Though, I will go and I will listen.

For it is not my closure but his.

Mine was drawn out in solitude.

Then tomorrow will be like it was again

 And he will be gone.

Not wanting me.

Not loving me.

Now I will know his reasons.

Please let him not say,

“You were too much.”

That,

I could not bear.

 

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About Anonymous Burn

I'm just a girl who has a blog. But I'm kinda groovy, too.

5 thoughts on “Him, Again

  1. Cara says:

    Okay, I’m going to be completely upfront and honest with you here: You have *got* to get rid of this idea that you believe that you are too much for someone. I’m not sure where you learned this but it is such a lie that you need to confront and rid your mind of. I’m so serious. This douche bag is using you. I hate to say it. But he is playing mind games with you which leads me to believe that HE is the messed up one, not YOU! Good people don’t do this, sweetie. Good, loving, loyal, *normal* people don’t just leave your life for 3 months and then have the audacity to come back in as if it was always their’s to have. That’s a dysfunctional person. You did what was right and brave. You waited for as long as you could and you opened your heart to love. He did the cowardly thing. Not you. And yet, he has you convinced that YOU are at fault. Do you see how silly that is? You are NOT too much for someone. I honestly wouldn’t even bother to see him. In my opinion, he lost his chance a loooooooonnnggg time ago to make closure…
    xoxoxox!!!

    • (sheepishly) Actually…it’s been almost a year since we last spoke it took me until 3 months ago to finally put it down. (doubly sheepishly) I couldn’t help myself, I saw him today. It was nice. Too nice.

      The things we hear from those who should love us unconditionally can be really damaging. Being always too much, never being able to do anything small…it’s a hard one to let go. With Ryan, I never felt too much. Sigh.

      Thank you for your words, Cara. Truly.

  2. Addie says:

    Eff, I hate that I am so LATE. Aaargh! I could certainly feel the not-being-able-to-breathe-for-a-while part.

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