We all scream for iScream and iPhones and iPads


Day 01 — The one thing that it seems like everyone else on the planet is into but I just cannot stand is…

In my youth, not too terribly long ago, I was not one to do what all the cool kids were doing.

In the 4th grade, I remember getting sneered at by my brother who would only wear Champion brand socks, sneakers, shorts and teeshirts and when mom asked what kind of shoes I wanted I would shrug and pull a pair of bo-bos out of the dollar bin at the front of Roses

By the time I got to middle school my friends were starting to listen to new bands like Pearl Jam, Green Day, and Nirvana. I was listening to Richard Marx, Aaron Neville, and Bonnie Raitt…(and eventually my unhealthy love affair with David Bowie)

My 11th grade school picture saw me proudly wearing my father’s entrance into the “ugliest Hawaiian shirt contest” from a decade earlier…

Needless to say – if it was popular, I wasn’t interested; if everyone else was doing it, I was doing something else. I never really thought about it and I wouldn’t say I was “different for the sake of being different” (an accusation of my mother’s F-O-R-E-V-E-R, although I will give her that one for the Egyptian Plum locks through highschool). I just had this drumbeat in my head and it was drastically different (maybe just slower) than the beats everyone else moved to.

The same holds true for me today especially as it relates to our technology. I was rummaging through vinyl at the Salvation Army when friends were buying cassettes and collecting cassette tapes while friends carried neat little portable CD players.

Now, everyone and their mothers, brothers, and uncles have iPhones and iPads. People go out and waste hours in line to spend ridiculous amounts of money on the latest version even though it’s only been 6 months since the last latest version. People I work with will take half days off work on the first day of sale to go get one…and then come back to work and talk about it. Really?!  Seriously?! WTF! That’s a lame ass way to spend half your day NOT at work! It’s just another goddamned computer. Sure it may be faster and smaller than the last one but please, shut up about it. I’m not impressed by it. I don’t really know what Suri Cruise has to do with your new phone but I’m so glad she’s there to help you out so you don’t hurt yourself pushing too many buttons.

Way to go, World, you are all -bleet-ing sheep! Baaaaah!

But – as I simmer down, I confess to my iPod, which was killed by boobsweat after shoving it into my sports bra one to many runs (Screw you, Arm Band Nation!). Now it sits in the bottom of my purse laughing at my moral dilemma while the rest of the world plays Words with Friends and asks me why I’m pushing so many buttons, “Oh you dear girl, it won’t just refresh when you shake it? You need Suri.”