Virtuous Woman

Day 03 — Regardless of my current status, do I believe a person should save themself for marriage…

No. I don’t believe that. (We are talking sex here, right?!)

Here’s the thing – I did it **wrong**. My own life and circumstance led me along a dark and dreary road of believing that through sex I could fill a void of belonging and love. What I learned instead was that using sex to fill a void served only to widen it. Eventually I found myself manufacturing love during sex so that when the sex was over, my wall was still firmly in place keeping those who would hurt me on the other side and keeping feelings that would weaken me far away.

So, uh, little sisters: Don’t do that. You deserve so much more than that. You are beautiful. You are amazing. You are sweet, kind, gentle, loving, fierce, independent, smart, unique, and funny. Above all: you are loveable.

I believe we should fall face first into love when we find it. Love is not safe so why save ourselves? There is no right time to say it or feel it or express it. When we love, we love.

Loving a man I did not marry served to allow my heart to know its weight, I expect like muscle memory it will fall back to that routine when next we, Love and I, meet. Loving him for the time we had was a beautiful thing that I will always treasure.

**I do not believe in the wrongness of my way but I would save a loved one, a friend, a sister from thinking sex without love would help her find it, if I could. My journey has led me to know the woman who I am today and I am proud her. How could that be wrong?