I’ve got a super major question. W. T. Eff. happened? One day, mama’s all fun-like and taking me out to roll around in the dirt because like it’s totally fun to roll around in the dirt.
And plus also, I look adorable when I turn my whites browns so that I can match my big sister.
But the next day, mama takes me one this ubs early carride which is totally fine and all ‘cept I knew something fishy was going on. She left my big sister at home. She NEVER does that. Never, never. For realz. We always go everywhere together. Or mama leaves us behind but she only does that whenever she does boring things. I know because she’d never do fun things with out me an’ Analaigh. Yeah, so ubs early carride. Had the windows down and the wind whipped through my ears it was great…uhm, right up until my mama handed me over to some person I didn’t know and then she left me. LEFT ME! Like forever, or overnight, whichever is longer. And while she was GONE and I was ALONE someone pricked me with pins, stuffed me with drowsers, and then CUT OPEN MY LEG! Oh and also, while I was asleep someone shaved my butt. Mama was gone, my leg was cut open, and my butt was naked. So seriously…W. T. Eff!
Don’t you worry, though. When mama FINALLY came back to pick me up (after a millionty hours in that place) I made sure to give pittiefulness as MUCH as possible.
I didn’t let Analaigh off the hook either. What kind of “big sister” is she? She spent a millionty hours with mama while IIIII was getting my butt shaved off.
I’m feeling better mostly and mama keeps taking me back to that place where they shaved my butt (but I don’t let her leave me there, no way Jose!) and they took the metals out of my leg. Yeah, they put metals in my leg and made me wear a lampshade on my head. Naked butt and a lampshade. UGH!!! Anyhow, the metals are out and I don’t hurt as much but I like to make mama remember who is boss and I found that this face works the best…