People, People, People: Oh Dogpark People

I’ve been out of sorts lately. Luckily for you I encountered a terrible human being this week just in time to write about them for our Wednesday People People People spot…luckily…

As you know – I like to take my girls to the dogpark from time to time – it’s good for them to be socialized with dogs and humans of all walks of life. Sadly, socializing them means socializing me and I need much more work in this area…

As we approached to enter the park, as is a rule in our family, the girls were sitting and waiting for me to enter the first gate to call them in. Gate 1 – check. We approached gate 2 and were again settling into a sit so I could enter the second gate and call them in. One girl is sitting, the other is sniffing marked fences and I noticed there are a handful of dogs who have come to greet us at the gate – my personal philosophy is that the dogs should not be allowed to crowd the gate to intimidate the newcomers but whatever…I know that once we enter the girls and I will do a lap around the perimeter, sniffing, meeting and greeting in smaller doses, and acclimating…

Almost ready to enter, I look up to notice (thankfully) humans have walked toward the gate to retrieve their pups to thin out the welcoming committee…

“Excuse me, I think you should try the other section – the one for smaller dogs.”

I look to the voice and realize this person is addressing ME! I look back at my 50 lb and 70 lb dogs and reply, “Uhm, we’ll be fine.”

“Are they young dogs?”

Confused at the relevance of the question and not sure what she’s getting at, “Yes” (well, kinda…Analaigh is 2.5 and Rose is 2, technically not exactly puppies I mean they don’t eat puppy food but they are still young…what is she getting at?)

“Yes, then you shouldn’t bring them in here.”

“We’ve been to dog parks before. They’ll be fine.”

“If you bring them in here, there is going to be a problem. I just know it. I know there will be problems.”

Now I’m pissed off. I don’t know if “there will be problems” because my dogs are pitbull type dogs but hers is a rottweiler so she can’t be profiling, can she? “We’ve done this before. We’ll be fine” (so please move yourself and your dog away from the gate so I can enter you stupid b—)

“So when there is a problem are YOU going to reach your hand in and break it up?”

“Yes. I will.”

So now part of me is thinking – I don’t even want my dogs to play in the same space as this woman but on the other hand I’m thinking I’ll be damned if I’m letting this woman bar me from entering this park with my dogs. I don’t know her, she doesn’t know me nor does she know my dogs. I’m stubborn, we enter and spend the next few hours in peaceful harmony with the occupants of the park…EXCEPT FOR THAT LADY’S DOG…who spent the rest of the time on his leash because he snapped at a few of the other dogs playing…

I just don’t get why people have to be so hateful and I sincerely wish I understood exactly what made this woman decide to be so with us…in any event, we haven’t gone back…so I guess she got what she wanted – me and my dogs to go away.

That’s fine…we don’t need anyone else!


People, People, People: Everybody


Please review below then stop saying EVERYBODY. When the everybody in question numbers a lot, then it is NOT everybody when only a few is included in your statement of ‘everybody’. A portion of something is not all of it. A piece of the pie is not the whole damn pie. Some people is not every person. Just fucking stop it!

  • ev·ery·body

pronoun \ˈev-ri-ˌbə-dē, -ˌbä-\


Definition of EVERYBODY

: everyone
  • ev·ery·one

pronoun \ ev-ri- wən\


Definition of EVERYONE

: every person : everybody

Next week’s lesson will be on properly using always, anything, ever, everything, never, no one, and only. As in, one can not always forget everything; even Leonard Shelby had his tattoos. One does not never smile; maybe I just hate you. One does not always only think of oneself; sometimes we are forced think of everybody else when everything is always messed up because no one can  ever do anything right around here except for me…er…one, uhm, he/she/it(?).


Anonymous Burn

People, People, People: Family

I guess I’ll start this by using one of your lines, which I believe is something along the lines of I’m sorry if this hurts your feelings but this is how I feel.
We’re friends on Facebook so I know you see my status’ about getting my move-in date, buying furniture, being scared and nervous, and yet you haven’t said anything to me about it. You never ask about the twins. Being named god mother should have been an honor. I honestly don’t feel you deserve that title now. We haven’t mattered to you in a long time. You post these blogs and say you never fit in with your family, well that’s because you’re selfish and selfish doesn’t work in a family of eight. Families celebrate birthdays, holidays, birth of a baby..any kind of special is suppose to be there. Where are you?  You skipped out on Christmas this year, nothing for the kids. You also have made no effort in seeing your new nephew. So what your sister-in-law isn’t one of your favorite people. She’s part of the family. Your brother is your brother. Your nephew is your nephew. You can comment on the picture of his dog but not any of the pictures of his son. Just another nephew that you wont know.
I don’t know, Megan, I think I’m ready to be done. I’ve been annoyed with you for some time for not coming to family events, not acknowledging my birthday, but the fact that your now doing it to my kids is not ok with me and something had to be said. Let me down all you want, but now you have let my kids down and that is not ok with me. In case you forgot, you are a sister/aunt/godmother. I don’t think you are doing a good job at any of those titles. You have excuses until you’re blue in the face  but no excuse is going to make up for this. You seem to be so caught up in your “oh so busy” life to stop and acknowledge any of us on special occasions, expect the same in return from now on. You don’t want to celebrate birthdays, holidays with us then don’t. But let’s get on the same level of understanding so we know not to expect shit from each other. I don’t want the fakeness either. Sorry it had to come to this but like I said in the beginning, I needed to tell you how I feel. You can respond if you want, don’t feel that you need to. Just really wanted to express how I felt and to let you know that I’m pretty much done.

I received an e-mail from one of my sisters this week. It really upset me. She’s right, I totally goofed up. I missed my niece and nephew’s 5th birthday. I’ve been worse and worse about remembering to call or put a card in the mail for birthdays. Really, I’m terrible at it. I owe them an apology for my thoughtlessness.

It also really upset me in its continuation of a pattern of conversation I’ve had with certain people over the past 8 years since I moved 2 hours away from my childhood home: (1) that I am not entitled to a busy life because I do not have any real reason to be oh-so-busy (I am childless and single); (2) that I am responsible for checking in.

No, I do not call often. No, I do not check in often. No, I do not visit often. No, I do not ignore in-coming phone calls from her. No, I do not tell her I’m too busy for her to visit when she offers. No, she doesn’t offer. No, I’m not upset about it. I respect that while I’m here doing my life she and I probably didn’t touch base today because she’s busy doing her life. She’s my sister, I know we’ll catch up.

I am continually frustrated for being accused of not making an effort. As though if I don’t, no one will because when I don’t no one has. I could do better, we all could. This is not my sole cross to bear. I am not a pusher. People and their lives and choices are sensitive topics and I make it a general practice of letting people tell me what they want to tell me when they want to tell me exactly how much they want to tell me. I AM ALWAYS HERE. If you want a better  relationship, then let’s both work on it, shall we?

(For the record, mentioning Facebook in the course of a disagreement immediately weakens your argument)
As a point of clarification, *this* is not my response to her but I can share her assessment of me, in many ways she is right…

People, People, People: On-line Dating

My screening process is relatively simple:

  • No to the guy whose profile includes a mirror-reflection-you-can-see-the-camera picture. If he doesn’t have any friends who want to hang out with him who can take his picture then I certainly don’t want to hang out with him.
  • No to the guy whose profile includes a picture of his flexed bicep in profile. I guarantee, I don’t like protein shakes enough for him.
  • No to the guy whose profile includes a picture with his shirt off. Hello, line between cocky and conceit, you’ve just been crossed.
  • No to the guy who can’t manage to find a picture without part (or all) of his ex-girlfriend. If he doesn’t know why this is inappropriate he’s too stupid for me.
  • No to the guy over 40 or under 31. I’m too old for bullshit and too young to be a widow.
  • No to the guy with a porno ‘stach. Needs no explanation
  • No to the guy with a large crucifix over his bed. If he has any relationship with God he will be disappointed in my lack thereof.
  • No to the guy who lists his interests as “hittin’ the bars with [his] boys.” I will just disappoint him.
  • No to the guy willing to mention his preferred sexual positions in his “about me” section. Can’t we just be a little mysterious.
  • No to the guy shorter than 5’10” (shut it, Caroline). No other reason than I’m a snob, a 5 foot 4.5 inch snob.
  • No to the guy who loves my dogs because he spent the last decade in a correctional facility. I’m trying to move away from the stereotype thank-you-very-much.

I’m on-line the other day looking through my daily matches, clearing out the messages from guys I’m potentially interested in and guys suffering from one or all the above and up on the screen pops a message:

(insert douchey screen name) wants to chat with you

I click on the box to see what DoucheyScreenname has to say and wait for the chat window to connect properly. He messages that he thinks I’m pretty, likes my profile, thinks I should message him back if I’m interested but also if I’m not interested so he doesn’t waste his time. All of this being perfectly reasonable, I continue to wait for the connection.

Connection Failure

Oh. Hm. Well, I can’t write him back to thank him for his message and also let him know that as he has a porno ‘stach he can move right along. But in the grand scheme of things it’s a small message in a chat window so he will survive the lack of reply.

Boy, was I wrong. Before my computer even had time to tell me the connection failed he wrote again. This time to tell me that he thought I was pretty shitty for not being mature enough to send him a message and let him know that I wasn’t interested. I’m just another stuck up broad and it is “sooooooo rude” to ignore him.

Connection (still) Failure


Connect already, computer!! I was frantic to reply to this guy.


Now that does it, Asshole…I found his profile and sent him a private message.

Dear Tragic and Desperate,

On the off-chance that I were interested in entertaining you as a potential match your persistent douchebaggery made me reconsider. I can not apologize that the delay in contacting you was related to my computer failing to properly connect as it saved me the trouble of rejecting you by doing it for me.

I am contacting you now to let you know that I am concerned about your quest for a love-match. It is obvious that you do not know how to speak to a lady in whom you are interested and I worry that you may attract the wrong type of woman with this approach. I do not think you should communicate with human beings until such time as you learn how to be one yourself. Best of luck.

Very truly yours, Toilet

I worry about that guy and his chances of finding love. But later he apologized for calling me a toilet, he’s bipolar and was having a mood swing. He really thought I was great for getting in touch even if I wasn’t interested and he was heading off to watch porn and cry because I thought he was repulsive. So, I think he’s going to make it.

People, People, People: The Fudgsicle

Yeah, him again.

The goddamned Fudgsicle that wouldn’t go away. It’s like he’s not a fudgsicle at all but the gum on the bottom of my shoe.

I know the whole “fool me once…” bit. I do. So it’s pretty obviously not even his fault that he’s anywhere near my shoe.

After the climbing and the other guy thing, it was radio silent for quite a while. Then the whole Facebook + LongLostMother thing happened. People deserve a chance to right wrongs and change perceptions you have of them, don’t they? He seemed to want to do that, I clearly still had an interest in him as a person, and the choice to put him in or take him out of my life was mine. I sent him a message and told him about the happenings of my life and…well…he surprised me by his genuine happiness and excitement for me. He was, kinda, amazing. I mean, of course he was amazing, I was in love him with him for-damn-near-ever because of what an amazing person I knew him to be.

We’d been chit-chattering back and forth; encouragement about the happenings, jokes about my terrible driving, motivating peptalks to jog daily, occassional mentions that he thought we should hang out some time which I ignored because I’m still hoping for my Matthew.

Maybe it’s that the last box is unpacked; maybe it’s that I’ve been working out and the endorphins are kickin’ in; maybe it’s that I’ve enjoyed all the chit-chattering, so I say “We really should hang out!” His reply, “Yeah?! What are your plans this weekend?” “Nothing really. I’m all unpacked and settled so just hanging out with my girls.” “Great! We should go climbing. Is Saturday or Sunday good for you?” “Either work for me, afternoon is better.” “Sunday is best for me.” “Great! See you then.”

<Enter Inner Monologue> What are you doing, Meg? Why did you contact him? What do you want? Are you looking for friendship? Are you hoping for more? I don’t want to be his climbing friend, I know that much, so what do I want?

But then…seemingly out of nowhere…

I’ll have to see how my finances look. I just put money into my car so I’ll have to see if I can swing it.” (It = $17 day pass which he knows I can waive for him)

Uhm, we don’t have to go climbing. We could hang out, take the dogs to a park, whatever really.

Ok. We’ll see.

Ah, yes. There is it – the dismissal.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Fool me thrice by being a supportive friend during one of the biggest life events to date only to dismiss me as soon as I return the sentiment of hoping to see you again, I need to get my freaking head examined.

PS – In case you were wondering, I know you are…I haven’t heard from him since before the weekend he asked about

PPS – Don’t feel sorry for me. I am an idiot. I am just making myself accountable to someone(s) for my idiotic behavior.

People, People, People: The Old Bag

The girls and I love our daily walks.

Saturday mornings are our favorites.

No one is around.

It’s just us.

just us girls

And a few other crazy people up at 6:30am for morning exercise.

Walking is training; both on and off leash.

We work on things like…

Walking nicely on leash
Walking nicely off leash
Not reacting to other doggies
Not reacting to other humanoids
Checking in with the mama
Coming when the mama calls even though there are deer to chase
Leaving it when you really wanna eat the duck poops

You know…good pitizen type things…

This Saturday was no different except there were a few more people

The girls were each walking perfectly at my side

An ole grizzly mama and her dog were walking toward us

We were appropriately oblivious to their existance

Grizzly Mama stopped and stepped in front of her dog protectively

I barely noticed what was happening until I heard,

“Those dogs should be on leash!”

I knew she wasn’t talking to us

We weren’t doing anything but walking non-plussedly by


A bit longer saw more people crowding the park so leashes went on.

We looped our loop and there was Grizzly Mama with her pooch.

As is our way, we ignore people and pups.

“Can I tell you something?”

Uhm, who me? No thank you.

“You are ignorant and a thug.”

Uhm, wh-wh-wh, huh?

“You are rude. Your dogs could attack people. They should never be off their leash. Some people have dogs that are just not sociable.”

They didn’t do anything. They didn’t even look in your direction.

 “You are ignorant and rude and it is unsafe to have your dogs off like that. My dog has been attacked before by unsociable dogs like that.”

They were working. We were doing off leash work.

“I’m sorry but you are an ignorant jerk.”

(I lost it, sorry!)

You know what? Fuck you. They walked nearer my side off leash than your dog is to yours on leash.

“You are an irresponsible, rude and horrible person. You – – -“

Fuck off, you old bag!

And off we went.

Mama, I think you lost a point.

Walk Points

Possible (7): Leash on/off (2), Ignoring dogs & humans (2), Check-in (1), Coming (1), Leaving things (1)

Analaigh: Points for all; Keep up the good work!!

Rose: Points for all; good performance but check-in more, don’t pretend to think about coming when mama calls or asks you to leave the poops.

Mama: 6/7; Needs improvement ignoring humanoids

People, People, People: Cara from Fork and Beans

I’ve been a bit of a slacker this week. Sorry.

Yesterday afternoon I sat out in the backyard with the girls. My good friend, Cara, from over at my favorite food blog: Fork and Beans loves to gush over my girls. Today she is sick so I thought I’d send this one to her.

I’m too blah to talk about the annoying people too numerous to count that I’ve encountered the past week.

Videos of my girls is a much better idea…