Working Class Hero by John Lennon


As soon as you’re born they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all
A working class hero is something to be
They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
They hate you if you’re clever and they despise a fool
Till you’re so ****ing crazy you can’t follow their rules
A working class hero is something to be

When they’ve tortured and scared you for twenty-odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can’t really function you’re so full of fear
A working class hero is something to be

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV
And you think you’re so clever and classless and free
But you’re still ****ing peasants as far as I can see
A working class hero is something to be

There’s room at the top they’re telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
If you want to be like the folks on the hill

A working class hero is something to be
If you want to be a hero well just follow me

I woke up with this song playing in my head. Considering the decision to leave my very real, very serious full-time job has recently been made (and acted upon) so that I can really figure out what I want to do that will really make me happy…it seems appropriate.

More Than Just Enough


All I ever wanted
Was a love to be true
More than just enough to get me by
I want a love to see me through
I don’t need another well spent night
Another clever, sideways glance
I wanna look my baby in the eye
And know there’s nothin’ left to chance
So if you’re tired of bein’ lonely
Beat up and confused
Darlin’ there is only
One thing you can do
Come to me
I’ll be the one who’s waiting
Come to me
I got what you need
Come to me
Won’t be no hesitating
I know what you mean to me
I’m gonna hold out for the one I want
Ain’t gonna settle for less
Cause the kind of love I’m lookin’ for, baby
You can’t fake, you can’t finesse
I ain’t lookin’ for the kind of man, baby
Can’t stand a little shaky ground
He’ll give me fire and tenderness
And got the guts to stick around
So if you’re tired of bein’ lonely
Beat up and confused
Darlin’ there is only
One thing you can do
Come to me
I’ll be the one who’s waiting
Come to me
I got what you need
Come to me
Won’t be no hesitating
I know what you mean to me
~Bonnie Raitt (Come To Me)

I was 11 years old when I heard this song. I was 11 years old when I knew I needed/wanted/shouldn’t settle for less than a man who looked at me with love in his eyes who could stand the ups and downs of life (both mine and his). I was 11 years old when I knew the kind of love I was looking for could not be faked and would not just get by but would be enough to get through. I was 11 years old when I knew these things but didn’t have a clue what they meant.

In the last 20 years these words have been running through my head and I’ve been clearer on their meanings with every attempt to find myself, be in connection with the world around me, and become ready for the partner I ultimately hope to find. “Find” is a tragic word – I hate to say I am looking – I know these things happen when least we look and expect them to. Regardless, their meanings are clearer to me.

This weekend my dad and I went to see this woman who shaped my life at a young age.

…for the full effect a bathroom is needed for duck lips…

It was amazing. She was amazing. Had I any doubt about my life and the choices I’ve made in my life from relationship to self-awareness to career, they were put to rest watching this amazing, fierce, sexy, strong, talented woman walk on stage and share herself with the room full of adoring fans. I am proud to say I have not settled in my life and when I noticed I was in a rutted pattern I’ve had the guts to do something about it. I owe a great deal of my strength to this woman.

Dad and I pinched and poked each other like schoolgirls when Bonnie took the stage…then I cried…

And to the man who gave her to me.

Happy Father’s Day to the man who’s been there through the ups and downs of life (both mine and his)

Bonnie Raitt Taught Me Everything I Need to Know About Love


I may have mentioned a time or two before that my father took me to see the New Kids on the Block for my birthday when I was in the 4th grade. It was the coolest thing ever. I wore my lavender sweatshirt that had each of the boys faces in a metallic screen print across the front. I can’t imagine that I looked anything less than cool.

Sometime shortly thereafter my musically inclined father took matters into his own hands and started introducing me to real music by real musicians. By the 6th grade, Bonnie Raitt had taught me everything I would need to know about falling in love, being in love, and knowing when to let it go.

I had a date Friday night with a guy I’d been chatting with for a few days. I was really looking forward to the date and nervous as hell. By all conversations, I knew him to be funny, quick-witted, down to earth, active, and a dog-lover. I knew on some level we’d have a nice time regardless and we did…

…but sparks??

…nope…nada…

Old Megan would push through, try again, fit a square peg into a round hole. I would let myself feel guilty for not being able to drum up excitement about this really nice guy. I’d feel mean and shallow and force myself to continue to go out with a guy I did not like. 

*I dated the Black-hole of Happiness for 2 years doing this before*
*It was a TERRIBLE decision*

But not this time. Nosirreebob. As my Bonnie taught me:

You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t.

I could try again, go on a second date, and see if something could grow. But I’ve met people before where the connection has been immediate and electric. I owe it to myself to be free to find that. I owe it to Friday-night-guy to let him find it, too.

So really, I’m doing everyone a favor here…DAMN! I’m selfless…

Bonnie Raitt also taught me that in order for my father to sit through a concert of NKOTB with me when *this* existed – meant his love for me was absolute!

Oh, Freddie


Day 16 — I’ve just been granted the power of resurrection but I can only use it to bring back one dead celebrity. I would bring back ________ because…

This may sound very silly to you and I’m okay with that but…

Sometimes when I’m sitting in my room listening to Queen I cry. I am sad at my missed opportunity of watching Freddie take the stage.  I am sad I will never know what it’s like to experience his personality when in my heart feels like I must.

I mourn the loss of him. Weird, right?!

I’m adding this late but I want to see this and there in this energy.

Someone is always looking.


Day 12 — My favorite song to dance and sing to when no one is looking…

Not that I’m embarrassed per se.

I already know what I look like when I’m dancing, it’s not pretty.

When I feel like I look cool, I know it looks worse.

This song makes me feel BAD ASS which translates to looking like a spastic colon.

Full List of Participants for the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty (and 1 dare)
Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

Oh the Guilt; Oh the Pleasure


Day 02 — Not including food, blogging or television, what is your most guilty pleasure (this includes chocolate)…

Immediately my mind screamed: “THE GIRLS!” but then I thought I’d better define guilty pleasure, or rather – see how it was defined by others:

“A guilty pleasure is something one enjoys and considers pleasurable despite feeling guilt for enjoying it.” (So says The Wiki)

Oh! Well then my answer is emphatically NOT the girls because I don’t feel one whit of guilt about the pleasure I get from hanging out with them and the rest of y’all can go shit in a hat if you don’t like it. Aren’t you the lucky ones because I know precisely where one goes to find a hat for shittin’ so you let me know if you need one.

Hm…guilty pleasure…guilty pleasure…(stroking chin in thoughtful manner)…

Ahhh…I got it!

I love Miley Cyrus. I think it’s her poppy, smiley nature. I hated her tv show but then again, I didn’t watch it either (Disney’s programming is way hammier than it was when they ran shows I grew up watching like Avonlea).

I netflixed every Miley Cyrus and/or Hannah Montana movie while I was going through the break-up.

(yeah, I just verbed that ((and that)) – deal with it!)

I downloaded her songs to my iPod so I could sing “it’s the CLIIIIIIIMBBBBB” on repeat whenever life was getting me down.

 (at least until the Great Boobsweat Massacre)

When running the radio in my car through SCAN I’ll stop so I can sing along with her.

 (Rose, stop rolling your eyes at me!)
If you know my dad, please don’t out me. I know he owes me a pass for refusing to see Van Halen with me last month because he’s a Hagarist – but this would be more than anyone should be asked to forgive.

Shit…you know what? While I’m at it I might as well cop to this one, too…What can I say? I metamorphized with Metamorphosis.

(yeah, more verbing)

There’s a freeingness that happens when I can sit and turn my brain off. I don’t need it for these two. My brain is soooo tired.

All You Need Is Love – John Lennon


(Love, love, love)
(Love, love, love)
(Love, love, love)
 
There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It’s easy
 
There’s nothing you can make that can’t me made
No one you can save that can’t be saved
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time
It’s easy
 
All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
 
(Love, love, love)
(Love, love, love)
(Love, love, love)
 
All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
 
There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known
Nothing you can see that isn’t shown
There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be
It’s easy
 
All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
 
All you need is love, all together now
All you need is love, everybody
All you need is love, love
 
Love is all you need
Love is all you need
Love is all you need
Love is all you need

In the simple words that “All you need is love” I have lost myself time and again. I have been enraged at the simple fool who believed that love is all you need. I have breathed calming, sighs of relief knowing that all you need is love. 

I loved a boy once, more than I loved myself. The boy was my hero, my everything. When he smiled, I smiled. When he cried, I cried. When he got mad and packed his bags, there were mine right next to his. He was older, this boy of mine. I chased after him in everything. I followed him around the neighborhood. I followed him around school. Once, a bully was mean to my boy and there I was small and bright-eyed, threatening to punch that bully in the nose if he ever, E-V-E-R hurt my boy again.

My boy didn’t particularly appreciate my interference

We grew up, though, that boy and I. The reasons he had always been my hero and  my everything grew us apart. They had made us who we were and we were so different. All the love in the world I had for the boy was not enough for him to love me. He was the first boy who ever broke my heart.

Years later I knew that while I was there with my heart in my eyes giving everything I had to give to my boy he didn’t have love to give me in return. It was not because I was not loveable. It was because he thought himself so.

Love is all you need.

Self love.

When the self is loved, the rest will follow.

…so…

Goo Goo G’joob