Mama took me to that place again where that man is. It was a lot better now that I knew him and the place. Last week was our first time going, it was just me and mama. Mama says that Rose has to stay home when we go see the man. Mama says not to worry about Rose getting left out because Rose is having surgery on her right crucial lig’ment next week and then she and mama will have loads of one-on-one time during her recuperation.
So when we met the man basically it was boring. Mama took me to meet him and then just sat there, right on the couch, IGNORING ME!! and answering the man’s questions. Last week when we left mama said we had homework to do but it wasn’t hard or anything. Mostly just regular stuff like mama makes us do all the time like sitting for food, hugs, going outside, coming inside, getting in the car, or getting out the car there’s always so much sitting, I always do better at this than Rose but I’m older and wiser so that makes sense. Some other homework was more for mama than for me. The man showed her some tricks about making some sounds and doing some gestures that help mama talk to me in a way I understand better than when she says WERDS. The man wants mama to make sure I always know that she’s in charge and if anything is ever too scary or confusing I can just go to mama and she’ll tell me what to do. One night mama was working on her homework and Aidan was running and hollering about but I looked at mama and just knew that everything was going to be okay…and THEN Aidan snuck real close and gave me my first hug (from a little boy) and I wasn’t scared or anything…ya know, ’cause mama said.
Well, so this week we went back to the place to see the man. He’s a really nice man. He already knows how to talk in my language which isn’t really with werds anyhow. I know who’s in charge when he’s there and I know what he wants me to do and he helps me learn how I can do it…and then he tells me how beautiful and sweet I am. He is teaching mama how to talk to me, too. She is really bad at it. When mama tries to talk to me I don’t know exactly what she is saying or exactly what she wants me to do and it’s really, really confusing. I can feel that mama is really nervous and confused, too. But the man told me that he’ll teach her and then we’ll be talking to each other in no time at all. The man also said that mama is going to mess up, a lot, even when she understands better how to talk to me but since mama is in charge that EVEN WHEN she messes up she should never, ever let me know that she knows that she messed up. Mama is mama and what she says goes EVEN if what she says is wrong, silly, or confusing. The man says it is not my job to question mama, it is my job to be wrong with mama when mama is wrong and right with mama when mama is right. It is mama’s job to know the difference because mama is mama.
When the man had me sitting and moving into place, I was focused on him so much I forgot mama was even in the room (the man is mesmerizing!). I felt so strong, confident, and sure sitting (in place) at his (left) side. I felt big and beautiful. Chest out. Ears up. Attention focused. When it was over and I could look around again, I saw mama standing there looking at me wiping tears from her eyes. I could tell they were happy tears – she was proud.
Strong. Confident. Beautiful.
I can’t wait to do this weeks’ homework and help mama. When the man’s not there, mama is the best thing around. She’s not as mesmerizing but she’ll get there…especially now that she’s home all day.