Please, Don’t

Day 25 — My biggest pet peeve that has nothing to do with blogging, being online, computers or anything else related to the Internet is…

Do I have to have just one?

 When someone says, “Gee, you’re in a bad mood today.”

I wasn’t but I am now. Thanks.

Not placing the new toilet paper roll ON the holder

It’s right there! Right. F*CKING. There!

Squeezing from the middle of the toothpaste tube

Why?! Just why!?!

Matt says to me, “Why do your peeves sound like things you think guys do? Why are you looking at me like that? Like you think I would be unbearable to live with.” Then he goes on to list things like hair-clogged drains, lack of appreciating the vacuuming because the lines aren’t in the proper direction (which is silly because EVERYONE knows that after you vacuum you sweep. Duh, sweep the rug to remove the lines and footprints, but whatever…), etc.

Okay. Fine.  I admit that I like things the way I like them.  Co-living items I will try to let slide. But please don’t:


Sing while watching movies

Criticize my driving

People, People, People: Who Tell Me No

Sometimes, most of the time, I want what I want.

I want exactly what I want.

Sometimes, I can not have it. For example, if I want that new job or I want to get accepted to grad school or I want some boy to return my affection. In those instances, the having or not having is outside of my control and I have to live with that.

So when I want what I want and what I want is totally within my control (i.e. $$$$) then I had damned well better get it.

It was a lovely sunny Sunday morning and I had just finished a beautiful brisk walk with my girls. Their happiness is infectious; when they are happy, mama is happy. I was having a great day, I was in a wonderful mood.

To round out my morning, I like to treat myself to a trip to the local diner where I don’t mind going alone to sit and enjoy a warm breakfast of soy-free, barley-free deliciousness and sip a warm cup of coffee and enjoy my solitude.

I won’t even linger on the fact that on this particular morning the hostess looked directly through me to seat the couple that came in moments after me.

Someone who spends as much time as I do trying to be invisible can not be angry when she is.

Finally I am taken to my booth and sipping on my coffee I place my order:

I would like a Spinach and Feta Omelette but no home fries or no toast. I would like your melon of the day, instead.

And then it happened. The old bag waitress looked at me aghast with her hand over her heart and said “I can’t do that.”

Uhm, the hell you can not do that.

She goes on to explain a story about the buttons she has available on her computer monitor and my meal coming with the homefries and toast and it’s just not possible.

Look here, Ass hat. I don’t give two shits what buttons you have to push. Give me the fucking cantaloupe and don’t you dare put the potatoes or bread on my plate. Whatever you have to charge me extra is fine. Please bring the cantaloupe and don’t worry about plating the homefries or toast.  

Bu-bu-but…she tries to continue…I sigh…

I know, I know tis a very small thing to get cranky about but I just don’t get the impossibility here.

And PS – My girls do not appreciate your ruining the good mood they put me in.