TOO MUCH ROSE


LONG DAY OF NO!

JUST GOT IN FROM A LONG DAY! I HEAR THAT BLOGGING IS CATHARTIC!…LIKE, MY MOTHER DOESN’T LET ME DO ANYTHING! EVER! NO JUMPING, ROSE! NO LICKING, ROSE! NO DIGGING, ROSE! LIKE, GOD! CHILL OUT ALREADY! SHE’S ALWAYS ALL: WHY CAN’T YOU BE MORE LIKE YOUR SISTER? ANALAIGH NEVER JUMPS! ANALAIGH NEVER DIGS! ANALAIGH! ANALAIGH! ANALAIGH! ANALAIGH IS SOOOOOO PERFECT! BUT LIKE SHE’S TOTALLY NOT PERFECT! ANALAIGH TOTALLY ATE MOM’S PILLOW LAST NIGHT WHEN SHE LEFT TO GO OUT! SHE GOT STUFFING EVERYWHERE AND IT WAS SUPER FUN TO PLAY IN SO JUST BECAUSE I HAD A LITTLE FUZZ ON MY NOSE WHEN MOM GOT HOME, SHE THINKS HER PERFECT ANALAIGH COULDN’T HAVE DONE IT AND IT MUST HAVE BEEN TOO MUCH ROSE!

SO, LIKE, TODAY, RIGHT? MOM TAKES US TO THE PARK! WHICH, FINE, YEAH IS PRETTY COOL OF HER! BUT, LIKE, I GET THERE AND I GO AROUND AND SAY HELLO TO PEOPLE! I MEAN, EVERYONE LOVES ME! I’M SUPER CUTE! AND I’M SUPER FRIENDLY! NO ONE ELSE EVER SEEMS TO CARE WHEN I JUMP UP AND PUT MY PAWS  ON THEM TO SAY HELLO! BUT NOOOOOO, HERE COMES MY MOTHER OUT OF NOWHERE “OFF, ROSE”ING AS SHE COMES! THEN, AND THIS IS TOTALLY NOT COOL, SHE PUTS ME IN TIME OUT! LIKE, RIGHT THERE! IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! SHE MUST HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF HER HEAD BECAUSE IT DOESN’T MATTER WHERE I GO SHE ALWAYS COMES AROUND “NO, ROSE”ING! IT IS SOOOOOO EMBARRASSING! BUT IT’S ALSO PARTLY ANALAIGH’S FAULT. SHE’S SUCH A LONER SHE’S USUALLY JUST CHASING LEAVES AND ROLLING AROUND IN POOP! PERFECT ANALAIGH AND HER ANTISOCIAL BEHAVIOR.

THERE WAS THIS BOY AT THE PARK TODAY. I MEAN, I GUESS HE WAS CUTE. HE WAS ALRIGHT. BUT, LIKE, HE WOULDN’T LEAVE ME ALONE! HE KEPT COMING OVER AND SNIFFING MY BUTT WHICH I TOLD HIM, LIKE, A BAJILLLLLION TIMES TO STOP DOING. HE KEPT ON, THOUGH. THEN HE KEPT ASKING ME TO PLAY! I TOLD HIM THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO! OR AT LEAST I THOUGHT I MADE IT OBVIOUS WHEN I WENT OFF AND PLAYED WITH ANALAIGH INSTEAD! HE TOTALLY DIDN’T GET THE HINT, THOUGH, BECAUSE THEN HE BROUGHT ME A BALL! MILO WAS HIS NAME. I DON’T KNOW. I MEAN, I’M KIND OF SEEING THIS GUY, MAX. I HAVEN’T REALLY SEEN MAX SINCE WE MOVED AND ALL AND MAX AND I AREN’T REALLY DATING OR ANYTHING, I MEAN, IT’S NOT EXCLUSIVE BUT STILL I REALLY LIKE HIM AND, YEAH, MAYBE HE’S A LITTLE TEMPERMENTAL, BUT WE ALWAYS HAVE A GREAT TIME WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER. IT’S NOT THAT MILO IS A BAD GUY OR ANYTHING. HE’S A REALLY NICE GUY. MAYBE WE CAN JUST BE FRIENDS.

SO N-E-WAY, BACK TO MY MOTHER. WE LEFT THE PARK AFTER SHE WOULDN’T LET ME DO ANYTHING. WHICH, LIKE, WAS KINDA FINE BECAUSE I WAS STARTING TO GET BORED N-E-WAYS. AND THEN WE HEADED TO THIS NEW PLACE WE LIKE TO GO. IT’S TOTALLY RAD! THERE ARE DEER EVERYWHERE! AND THERE’S THIS HUGE FIELD AND THIS LONG STRIP OF CONCRETE AND WE RUN AND RUN AND RUN! BUT, AGAIN, MOM WON’T LET ME DO ANYTHING! TODAY I SAW A WOODCHUCK! “NO, ROSE, STAY!” THEN I SAW A DEER!!! “NO, ROSE, STAY!” THEN A FOX! A FOX, MOM! C’MON, IT’S A FOX! BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. “NO, ROSE, STAY!” UGH! SHE’S NO FUN! NO FUN AT ALL! NO CHASING DEER, NO EATING DEER POOP, NO CHASING FOXES, NO EATING GRASS, NO EATING DUCK POOP!

NO, ROSE, STAY!

SHE’S NO FUN! AND SOMETIMES SHE’S JUST SO MEAN! I MEAN, YEAH, FINE! SO SHE TOOK US AROUND SO WE COULD PLAY AND STUFF BUT THEN SHE DIDN’T LET US DO ANYTHING!

I GUESS SHE’S ALRIGHT SOMETIMES! LIKE, TOMORROW! WE’RE GOING HIKING TOMORROW!