Cooking disaster? What cooking disaster?

Day 06 — My worst cooking disaster involved _____________ and this person/these people…

The time I made fried chicken and my boyfriend said, “Please don’t ever make that again.”

The time I made cranberry-orange bread loaf for my boyfriend’s parents holiday party and forgot the baking soda or powder, who ever knows which, and made, instead, a cranberry-orange brick.

The time I went to double my bread recipe and increased 1 1/2 teaspoons to 3 tablespoons.

When I thought I’d substitue carob powder for cocoa powder in my favorite brownie recipe and made something that tasted like dirty shoes smell.

When I tried to make chocolate pudding using carob powder because I was out of cocoa powder and made something that tasted like dirty, wet shoes smell.

The time I made sloppy joes out of quinoa and my dinner partner had a horrible allergic reaction.

The first time I made chili and didn’t realize a seeded jalapeno was meant to not have seeds. Well, excuuuuuuse me for being literate.

When I was responsible for making a spaghetti dinner for the kids I was babysitting but didn’t realize a) water must boil first and b) 8-10 minutes starts the moment the noodles go in the boiling water and not some vague time 10-15 minutes after. Read: inedible.

When I tried to make lemon bars for a friends 30th birthday party and who the f*ck knows what happened they were just godawful.

That time I made holiday rice krispie treats and dyed them Christmakkah colors and everyone’s tongues turned blue.

The Memorial Day party I made a peanut butter pie that turned into soup.

The time I scaled up a batch at work and didn’t check the density of my material and when it wetted out it expanded larger than the container and then I tried to clean up the insoluble mess with water and made glue.

The birthday cake I made for a friend with crumbled cake to resemble cat litter complete with melted tootsie rolls to look like poop. Oh wait, that was not a disaster. That was horribly, wonderfully on purpose.

When instead of chopping that onion I lobbed off the tip of my thumb and bled all over the kitchen until I became to dizzy to continue cooking dinner.

Nope. No, actually. I can not think of a single cooking disaster I have had. I mean, I’m a chemist by profession so obviously – I am highly trained for this kind of activity.

Don't worry! I'm a professional!