Today is TEST DAY

I’ve studied some.

I’ve procrastinated more.

I’m tired.

I’m not prepared.

I’m nervous.

There are a million other things I’d rather be doing than 3+ hours of standarized testing. 

But off I go to start to change the direction of my life

and to make sure the choices I make are made on purpose.

Need Not Apply

I made a(nother) decision…

I was really excited to find this school with this program. It instantly breathed life into that fire under my bum. That fire burned bright deep in the heart of Texas (or Sacramento) last spring and as life happened to my savings account and a move fell through and then another moved kissed the rest of my savings goodbye the fire turned into little more than a glowing ember. This find was hope to me.

Happily I awaited my additional information from the director of the program…

Wow. My first read of this…

My interpretation:

“You will not be qualified for our Master’s program. You will also not be qualified for the other program we offer because you don’t have experience. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, Lady, and if you want education you need experience first. But you are more than welcome to pay us monies that won’t count toward either of these degree programs and then reapply and hopefully (but doubtfully) be accepted at a later date.

Or, and what I suspect is the better option for you, you may apply for another program that I know nothing about with a school that I know nothing about. You are too stupid for our school but perhaps you aren’t too stupid for theirs.”

Okay…so maybe that is not what she said. I know that she was intending to tell me of the prerequisites for the programs at her school but, like,  whatever words she used in her reply did not leave me feeling warm and fuzzy (or informed). It didn’t even make me feel lukewarm. Uhm, and then she sends me a link to a program she doesn’t know anything about at a school not her own. Who does that? Seems like bad business to me.

When I was reviewing the prereqs and the curriculum for the programs I thought, “This is perfect. I have extensive experience in a physical science so they’ll know that I’m no dummy. I also have lots of tools under my belt that show my interest in society and the ways and means of people. This is a really positive jumping off point.”

…stupid seeds of doubt…

I mean, “ain’t nothing gonna break my stride, nobody’s gonna hold me down, oh no. I got to keep on movin’ “…but she just totally shat on my parade, man.

She’s gonna get my application and she’s gonna look really long and hard at it. THEN she can reject my request for admittance in her Master’s programs.