Rock on, Sister Moon


Day 04 — A blogger friend I’ve known for over five years told me she has been blogging anonymously all this time and most of what I know about her is her fantasy. My reaction to the news is…

“Rock on, Sister Moon!!” That’s what my dad says to let me know it’s okay to do whatever it is that I’m doing right now that I think I need to be doing.

So for 5 years you have been creating a fantasy, eh? That is dedication. That is one creative mind you got, girl. I’m jealous. I’m a shit liar. Sure, sure I can sit and think up some really great stuff but it’s like highschool drama club backdrop art: one dimensional; a piece of cardboard with a rudimentary tree painted on it. You are like that movie: Inception. The details. The commitment. Wow. Just wow.

me

you

 Okay. So now that I’m done gushing…

YOU LIED TO ME?! I’m hurt!

I kid. I kid. I’m not that hurt.

“Who we are is nothing more than the choice we make in the next moment”

(the other thing I say – ALL THE TIME!!!)

Every day we wake up and decide who we are going to be and the people we encounter pull more pieces of that person out as the day goes on. You were a bitch to the mailman, an angel to the hurt/sick child/animal you saw crying in the street, a fierce taskmaster keeping your wayward employees in line, a mousy girl on that first date with the boy you’ve been crushing, a sexy goddess at the climbing wall/yoga studio.

We are not always one thing and never another. We are all things: good, bad, ugly. And the truth about lies is that lies are filled with truths. It’s less about who you are not and more about why you chose to be *this* person to me.

Regardless I am flattered that the person you wanted me to know was this awesome creation with whom I have bonded and shared my life these past few years. Where do we go from here?

 

Here is a more complete list of everyone involved in this month’s challenge. Cherlyn Cochrane, Aurathena, TheFerkel, A Single Parent’s Life, Lovelylici1986, Prysmatique, AnonymousBurn, Caroline, Koi, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Everything L&L, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Princesa Musang, DLonelyStar, TemptingSweets99, LJ, TerriblethinkerMarliz3e, Sleep and Salami, Primadonna Zel and Sofia.

Virtuous Woman


Day 03 — Regardless of my current status, do I believe a person should save themself for marriage…

No. I don’t believe that. (We are talking sex here, right?!)

Here’s the thing – I did it **wrong**. My own life and circumstance led me along a dark and dreary road of believing that through sex I could fill a void of belonging and love. What I learned instead was that using sex to fill a void served only to widen it. Eventually I found myself manufacturing love during sex so that when the sex was over, my wall was still firmly in place keeping those who would hurt me on the other side and keeping feelings that would weaken me far away.

So, uh, little sisters: Don’t do that. You deserve so much more than that. You are beautiful. You are amazing. You are sweet, kind, gentle, loving, fierce, independent, smart, unique, and funny. Above all: you are loveable.

I believe we should fall face first into love when we find it. Love is not safe so why save ourselves? There is no right time to say it or feel it or express it. When we love, we love.

Loving a man I did not marry served to allow my heart to know its weight, I expect like muscle memory it will fall back to that routine when next we, Love and I, meet. Loving him for the time we had was a beautiful thing that I will always treasure.

**I do not believe in the wrongness of my way but I would save a loved one, a friend, a sister from thinking sex without love would help her find it, if I could. My journey has led me to know the woman who I am today and I am proud her. How could that be wrong?