Don’t be mad but it was nice. Maybe too nice. Like a warm day not knowing what will complete your moment until you hear the icecream truck and seconds later you breathe a sigh of contentedness because you had forgotten the simple joy of a fudgsicle during the frigid cold of winter.
He is a fudgsicle. Only, I had not forgotten. I intentionally placed fudgsicles far from my mind because the pain of their loss was just too great. Now I am sad anew at their loss and it’s only January.
No one knows more acutely than me how much pain I suffered. No one knows better than me how badly it was handled. While thoughtless he may have been, malicious he never was. Hurting in his own way, but never mean. It does not excuse but it gives understanding.
So his apology was accepted. He knows how poorly he acted. He knows the pain he caused. He knows it fell undeservedly at my feet. He is sorry and I believe that he really is.
I was not ambiguous. I did not say, “Oh, that’s fine” or “Oh, I hardly noticed.” It is not okay but we are each the shit-giver at least once.
…and now back to my regularly scheduled program…
A Girl, Two Dogs, and a Soyfree Pizza Place